What's the matter with me?
What did I do wrong?
Why can't I find someone I really want
who really wants me?
You've tried so hard
You've been in love, maybe even married, to someone who didn't love you as much as you loved them. You tried so hard. You gave and you gave and you gave. But, it didn't seem to matter. You never got anything back.
Or maybe you got a little, just enough to keep you hanging on. You didn't want to give up. So you waited. And you hoped things would get better. And you tried harder. You don't really know what happened.
- But, it felt like the more you loved him, the more he pulled away. You tried to get him to talk. But, the more you tried, the worse things got. You felt confused and insecure and lonely. Sometimes you still doubt yourself. You wonder if you ask for too much. You're not even sure what it would feel like -- to really be loved. Or if love really even exists. It even sounds a little scary...
- Or you were never enough. You gave and you gave. And she took. Sometimes, it felt like you were living with a stranger. She didn't seem to care about you or notice that you had needs, too. After a while, you had nothing left to give. It killed you, but eventually, you gave up. You're not even sure what it would feel like -- to really be loved. Or if love really even exists. It even sounds a little scary...
- Or maybe you don't even know how to begin -- to find love. You see people around you in relationships. And you wonder how they found each other. You feel like you're on the outside looking in. And you worry that you'll never find love. You're not even sure what it would feel like -- to really be loved. Or if love really even exists. It even sounds a little scary...
You don't want to make the same mistake again. But, you want to be loved, more than anything else. So, you keep trying...
You deserve to be loved
We all need someone to love. And there's nothing wrong with giving to the person you love or working at your relationship. But, someone who loves you, won't just take. They'll want to give to you too. And they'll want to take care of you.
In fact, a good relationship can be your place of support, your safe place, your refuge from the rest of life.
No relationship's perfect. But, it's not asking too much to want a relationship that includes:
- safety and security
- closeness and comfort
- friendship
- fighting fair and finding compromise
- passion
- fun and laughter
Isn't it time to discover how you can have that kind of love?
Sometimes it helps to explore your relationship patterns and what works in relationships, like:
I learned you can find love
I grew up in a dysfunctional family. And I didn't know how to have a good relationship. I even went through a bad marriage and divorce. I knew I needed help. So I got support from a counselor. I attended relationship seminars and groups. I read books. I did whatever I could to figure out how to have a good relationship.
And, I'm happy to say it worked. I found someone I really love, who really loves me.
Don't get me wrong, our relationship isn't perfect. But, the amazing thing is -- it really is mostly good. We're there for each other and we take care of each other, through good times and bad. And the best part is -- our love just deepens and grows as we get through those times together.
And it's not asking too much -- for you to have that kind of love, too.
I love helping you
My life's work has been to learn and share -- how to have a good, loving relationship, the kind we all really want.
As a university instructor, I love teaching students how to have a good relationship. As a counselor, I love helping you discover how you can find love, too.
I know it's a big step to reach out and ask for help. I know it means -- you're hurting. I provide counseling within a safe, supportive, caring environment, so you can feel free to share
and get the help you need.
I'd love to hear from you
If you'd like to discover how you can
find the love you deserve, I'd love
to hear from you.
Just call for a *free* 10-minute phone
consultation. You can reach me at
626.215.2527.
I can't wait to hear from you.
Take Good Care,
There is no guarantee being made as a result of information provided or services offered. License #MFT28571
For more information
Family-Of-Origin Relationships
The family you grew up in lays the foundation for your future relationships. If those relationships weren't the best, finding love can be more complicated.
Personality Differences
Being different can be good. That's what makes someone attractive to you. What's more important is that you have similar or shared values, so you can build a life together.
Male/Female Differences
Men and women really are different, especially when it comes to dating. When you understand those differences, you can attract the kind of person who will really love you.
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How to Find and Keep
A Good Relationship!
Vondie Lozano, MFT, Ph.D.
Relationship Counselor
626.215.2527
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